The Mess in Minnesota :)

I’ve dragged my feet for over a year now, thinking that I’ll sit down to write when I have more to conclude.  We are no longer living in Poland; we no longer own a home in Buffalo, NY; and, we no longer work at the same school.

We’ve been in Minneapolis, Minnesota for just over a year. 

Phoebe completed her Junior year– a year filled with soccer playing, a surgery to get all of the hardware out of her ankle, new classes with an entirely new grading system, and a new-found love of going on walks around lakes (we live near a lot of lakes). 

Reed in NYC looking at messages to Ukranians

Reed finished her first year at University and will head next semester to Madrid.  She had a super successful academic year and found new routines.  She and I met up in NYC over spring break for a bookstore and Broadway week (many thanks to Cameron and Syd for taking us in).  Both girls are working at a summer camp during June and July and have learned a lot about kids, heat, irritability, and exhaustion.

The mess of existence continues, as does the beauty.  Paul loves his new school, Mounds Park Academy, where he is the Middle School Director.  And, I had a wonderful year teaching.  I got to work with a collaborative team and to build (my favorite things).  The students were awesome, the classroom filled with smarts AND fun.  I was sad that it was only a one-year position, but I’ll be back this year for a bit covering a leave.  And, in the meantime, I’m working with students on college essays.  If you know anyone...please send them my way!

Phoebe and Lolly during the school's grad ceremony

We all miss Europe– the adventures, the food, the remarkable public transportation and the ability to be places without understanding all that was being said around us.  I think about how lucky we were to be in Warsaw for those years, and I often wonder if we should have just stayed.  But (and this is real), I also don’t.  I’m so glad to have a new home– one that feels like ours.  And, living near some family has been the biggest gift.  When we were looking for jobs, we were really looking at schools– and yet, here we are, near one of Paul’s brothers.  When Easter rolled around, we were just automatically included in Brunch!  Who knew? 

It’s strange to move as a middle-aged human.  Our kids are not young– and we aren’t crossing paths repeatedly at farmers markets or beehive soccer “practices.”  When we left Maine, I was devastated to leave a group of women with whom I had been pregnant and shared the craziness and beauty of birth, and the sometimes beautiful sometimes miserable monotony of babies.  But, Buffalo proved perfect.  In some ways, Buffalo was, perhaps, too perfect– at least for me– and it sort-of broke my heart in some ways.  But, maybe there’s no way to get to nearly fifty without a fragmented heart.  And, I find that, as I reflect, those cracks, like kintsugi, are filling back in with a lacquer mixed with gold or platinum. 

Last summer, we had a going away gathering in Buffalo to say “Thank You.”  It’s funny, my kids left Buffalo at ages 12 and 14 respectively, but likely I am the one who “grew up” there.  We had the best people in our lives– an amazing neighborhood with the most loving neighbors (who also fed us leftovers and swapped beers over the fence), inspiring and FUN colleagues, and the absolute best book club (sorry, Maine friends and ASW crew).  Buffalo gave us the ability to see the symphony, mainstream and not-so-mainstream writers, walk to the art gallery, and reasons for friends and family to visit (bars, Bills, Niagara Falls, parks, etc...…).  

There is so much more to say; and I’ve not even gotten to Warsaw or reflecting on our Ukranian friends (one of whom just lost her apartment to an attack in Kyiv). So, forgive the all that has been left out.

If I really grew up in Buffalo, I strengthened my convictions in Poland.  Professionally, I learned heaps.  In truth, I don’t think that I have enough distance from ASW or our time there to know how I might reflect on our time there.  

Fortunately, in moving to Minnesota, we have ensured that our paths will continue to cross with some of our former colleagues as – for a handful– this is their home state.  And, one Buffalonian was here for coffee just this week. So, we will continue to build the tapestry-- or perhaps it's more of a t-shirt quilt-- and we are so glad for ALL who are a part of it. There really is no one way to continue around the sun. Xoxo

Lolly and Paul in Cape Cod, summer 2025